made for phone!! everything here is still a work in progress if your reading this you found it early
Hello Iris, I’m glad you’re here.
I made this website as an outlet to express emotion in the only way I know how.
I find it hard to text you without feeling mildly horrified, and I can’t call without my point getting lost.
So I made this—an ode to what you gave me.
A recollection of our time together, my thoughts, and my final words to you.
I’ve seen this tree in a thousand different ways.
I always return to it when you’re gone.
It reminds me of how far we’ve come.
I’ve seen it covered in green, and I’ve seen it bare.
I’ve watched its branches sway in the wind
and hang motionless under the weight of silence.
It’s never the same, but somehow always familiar.
Like us.In some strange way, I feel connected to this tree.
It was there when I cried over you
a quiet witness to everything I couldn't say.
It held my back when I had nowhere else to lean.
I enjoy making intricate things. It calms me.
I find peace in weaving through long webs of information.
My whole life feels like one vast tangle of not knowing much of anything.Making secrets and creating knowledge is something I find artistically beautiful.
I look at places and see stories.
Even a floor, a wall, or an empty street—everything holds meaning if you let it.When you draw, you never liked sketching objects—only people.
But to me, objects are who we are.
As insignificant as they may seem, they reflect us: fragile, quiet, and overlooked.The video above shows the place where you and I once sat together
a spot where something meaningful happened.
To me… it was everything.
Because you were there.If we had never been there together,
that place wouldn’t be worth sketching.
It wouldn’t be significant.
But you—and you alone—made it matter.You are significant to me.
I find beauty in two places:
your eyes,
and the radiant love you leave behind in the spaces you’ve touched.
A huge part of me misses you, but another part hates you. Thinking back to our relationship, I only see the errors you made—as well as mine.I see you with your new boyfriend and wonder what I’m doing this for. Someone who was embarrassed of me. Someone who didn’t work well with me. Someone who lied and gave up so easily. Someone who used the excuse of "my parents see my story" just so you wouldn’t have to post me.Is that what I am to you?Is this what I’m working for—a liar? Someone who finds a new relationship within a month of us breaking up? Someone who posts a new guy after never once posting me?Or am I working for the sweet girl I lost—the one I fell in love with? The one my heart still yearns for? My beautiful girl, who kept me upright and made me feel something I’d never felt before: love. The girl I imagined holding hands with as she gave birth. The girl I had dreams of waking up next to. The girl who promised never to leave me again.But here we are.I’m alone. I roam aimlessly. I feel nothing. My sweet baby is gone—with someone else. Someone whose physical features suit your preferences more. He’s taller. Maybe he won’t do what I did. Maybe you’ll find something in him. Maybe you’ll be happy.Maybe I wasn’t what you wanted.Maybe I wasn’t what you needed.
its July 5th i have your birthday gift ready but you wont get it for some time to come I'm assuming you haven't found this website yet but regardless I'm still here and working on this maybe in September when I die I'll get Hailey to send a message anyway here i am once again to share
Some nights I drink. I drink a lot. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. I know you would always tell me not to, and I never did—but after you left, it’s the only thing that brings any kind of warmth. I remember when we would call late at night, and I’d kick my feet under the blanket because I had so much excitement from hearing your voice. I’ve never felt that in my life, and I have yet to feel it again. I ghosted Hannah and Vannia. I don’t reply to them anymore. I talk to Hailey, and recently I’ve been talking to Olivia. I’ve been lying to Hailey—telling her I’m over you and that I have a crush on Olivia, just to get her off my back about it. But I don’t like Olivia, and I’m not over you. I still cry some nights, but I know crying gets me nowhere. I know I didn’t mean as much to you as you meant to me, but still, I wait.Connor called me pathetic, and yeah, maybe I am. Maybe I’m pathetic for “cheating” and still wanting you back. But I guess being pathetic is something I give to people I really love. I like to seem funny and nice and level-headed when I talk to people I don’t know—but when I love someone, I open up. I strip down every layer of my skin and hand them my heart.
the video attached above is me crying to an old photo of you